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10 Reasons I hate Gooners!
In light of our upcoming visit to their horrible, faceless little pit in the dark depths of that Northern wasteland, here are ten reasons I'm glad I'm not a Gooner:
1 - I love singing at football matches. Its half the fun, it really is. Can you imagine going to the football and not singing at all, even at away games? Urgh.
2 - We have proper fanzines and dont need The Observer or their mewing, obsequious, grovelling, scraping, bowing deference.
3 - Can you imagine going to The Emirates and standing next to Osama Bin Laden in the Gents? I can imagine the conversation:
Gooner - 'Alright Dave'
Osama - 'Not too bad mate, how's the wife?'
Gooner - 'Not bad mate. That Rosicky's useless isnt he?'
Osama - 'Yeah mate. Complete c***. Le Prof should take him off and bring on Hleb and move to an orthodox 4-4-2'.
Gooner - 'I miss Viera'
Osama - 'Dont get me started. I just dont think Flamini's up to it. We should flog him.'
Gooner - 'Who would buy him though?'
Osama - 'No I mean publicly. With a copy of the Good Book tucked under the arm'
Gooner - 'Fever Pitch?'
Osama - 'Thats the one. Pint?'
4 - 'I'd rather play good football and not win anything than win things playing dull, boring, functional football' - I think it`s important to be true to onesself. I think maybe lying to yourself about things and lying to other people about lying to yourself about things is indicative of deeper issues.
5 - 'Terry Hennery' is/was not the second coming of Christ. There was a second Messiah and he is a white, 5'4, Sardinian. The Gooners worship(ped) false idols and according to the Old Testament its up there with Sodomy/coveting thy Neighbours ass as a big no-no. They'll be sorry.
6 - They get reduced beer if they get there early. £2.50 for a chilled pint of Fosters? Awful idea. Peasants. I'm so glad we have warm Carlsberg for £17.90
(or two for £40) in a leaky plastic cup instead. Cold beer is so uncivilised.
7 - I hear their prawn sandwiches are made with margarine and not butter. No wild rocket or avocado either. Not so much as a sundried tomato anywhere. Barbarians!
8 - They are building flats on Highbury. We still have our home, where we`ve always been. We are called Chelsea because we are very close to Chelsea. They are just a WW1-era MK Dons really.
9 - Can you imagine the ignominy of having to explain to hordes of Japanese tourists who Kolo Toure is, or to the gaggle of giggling city girls who are going to their first footie match so they can pull in sports bars in future and adopted the team because they liked the colour of the jersey? That`s not my idea of a football match experience. Wouldn`t catch me doing that.
10 - Arrogant, smug, overbearing, self-important, Observer-reading, cardboard cutout, overconfident, bunch of nobody Gooner numpties. They are just Sp*rs fans in a different colour (who have won things since Dinosaurs roamed the Earth). That`s all they are.
у меня несколько альбомов было на компе... затерял сейчас все... 
Про Карлсберг-то зачем? 
